January is the customary time in our society when we make New Year’s resolutions. I don’t usually participate in the ritual because I try to make resolutions or “decisions” whenever the time is right and I am ready. “Revelation teaches mortal man that, to start … a magnificent and intriguing adventure … he should begin by the organization of knowledge into idea-decisions.” (101:6.7, pg. 1112)

   Here is a story of a time when I made some important resolutions. Not in January. It was the springtime of a year during one of our intermittent economic recessions, when I was laid off from my employment at a music publishing house in downtown San Francisco. The only solid opportunity that came my way was a possible job as a security guard at the California Academy of Sciences, a museum in Golden Gate Park that included the Steinhardt Aquarium, very popular with kids. I was offered the job through an employee there, a neighbor we were friends with, and I took it gladly so I could keep us in the apartment with food on the table.

   My wife and I used to jokingly refer to my new job as “guarding the alligators at the museum,” because central to the Aquarium was a display that had been built to simulate a swamp with flowing waterfalls and lush jungle growth. The “swamp tank” was used to house live crocodiles and alligators. The security guards were expected to protect the reptiles from being bothered by children (mostly) who dropped nickels and pennies on their backs. Our description of the job made my daughter laugh. She would tell her friends, “My dad used to guard the alligators,” when her class took their field trips to the Steinhardt.

    Before I made the evening rounds with the round checker device we carried, I’d written out favorite quotes, mostly from The Urantia Book (The UB), some from other sources like an old Lakota prayer I loved. I used index cards to write the quotes out for purposes of memorization. The cards fit perfectly into my blue work shirt pocket, nicely concealed by the buttoned down flap. Some passages were about taking charge of my mental life, achieving self-mastery. I realized my personality was not under my control. Fears and subconscious needs overruled my conscious ego. I wondered if I brought failure on myself. One of my favorites was the speech Jesus gave to Fortune, “the young man who was afraid” in The UB, Paper 130. Jesus was instructing him like the Buddha, “teach your mind,” asking him to courageously face his problems and to refuse the bondage to fear and depression. I used this speech to Fortune to help myself gain “directionization” of my personality.

   “Set your mind at work to solve its problems; teach your intellect to work for you; refuse longer to be dominated by fear like an unthinking animal. Your mind should be your courageous ally in the solution of your life problems rather than your being, as you have been, its abject fear-slave and the bond servant of depression and defeat. But most valuable of all, your potential of real achievement is the spirit which lives within you …” (130:6.3, pg. 1438)

   I told myself, "you must give yourself a direction even if you only take one step at at time."

   “You are at full liberty to reject any part or all of the Thought Adjusters' program. It is their mission to effect such mind changes and to make such spiritual adjustments as you may willingly and intelligently authorize, to the end that they may gain more influence over the personality directionization; but under no circumstances do these divine Monitors ever take advantage of you or in any way arbitrarily influence you in your choices and decisions. The Adjusters respect your sovereignty of personality; they are always subservient to your will. (110:2.1, pg. 1204)

   Although on the surface this museum guard job represented an unproductive phase in my life, it became an opportunity to set in motion achievements that came later, proof perhaps of the idea that our spiritual growth happens unconsciously. “The factors of religious growth may be intentional, but the growth itself is unvaryingly unconscious.” (100:1.8-9, pg. 1095)

   This quirky practice that I hid from the other guards, the study and recitation of The UB quotes, made the quiet uneventful hours of guarding the museum more interesting. It also led to several good changes that flowed from a deeper intimacy with wise teachings. I resolved to develop my just discovered ability to write well. Already I was journaling on my lunch break in the guard’s locker room, or discussing poetry with Fritz, one of the guards who looked like a beatnik. Not long afterwards, I went on to earn B.A. and Master’s Degrees in writing. While I was still in school, we got pregnant and my wife and I joyfully undertook the work of raising a wonderful daughter. I began a new career with Wells Fargo, a well-known California bank.

   Though the results registered unconsciously, it was the first time I created a conscious partnership of mind with the spirit and it bore fruit.

   In seeing Jesus teach like the Buddha himself in these passages, “inspire your mind to control itself … release the body from the fetters of fear,” I learned to appreciate the universality of these religious teachings. I better understood being established in the dharma, the eight-fold path to righteousness. I found both plans of mental discipline more accessible to my understanding than the well known injunction, “Be you perfect,” also given in Christianity, which seemed to me to require rationalizations about your imperfections. Both the paths of Buddha and Jesus required fighting “the good fight of faith,” to perfect my faith, if not my character right away.

   But there was more than a call to focus spiritual and mental strengths in Jesus’ speech, there was his call to action, “do great things with your body … activate the body … begin your deliverance from the evils of inaction,” and Fortune responded. He left the solitary mountain byways and went on to perform great acts of service for the believers in Crete. Let us all find ways to act in service to the Father. The time is here for our actions to help actualize the Supreme on this troubled earth, “… action, completion of decisions, is essential to the evolutionary attainment of ... kinship with ... the Supreme Being.” (110.6.14, pg. 1211)